Several days ago I was asked a question that I was not prepared for. My brother-in-law Chris mentioned that he had completed reading my latest book “Looking Past Suffering” and that he found it quite helpful. However, he said,”I have to ask you a question.” “Why did you not include your sister in the book?”
I actually stopped, and I contemplated the question. You see my sister Linda died several years ago of what they call Erdman Chester Disease. ECD is a rare multisystem disorder. This disease has a high mortality rate with no real standard treatment.
After my conversation with Chris I stopped and asked that question again to myself, “Why is it that you did not focus on Linda’s decline and eventual death?” Now I want to be an open book when it comes to this subject. Linda and I were very close; we talked three or four times every week. We both were strong-willed and had our differences but there was no doubt that we were connected in a very close way. As a hospice chaplain and hospital chaplain it was not unusual for me to deal with the topic of death and the process of dying with the many patients I had contact with.
Of the three case studies I used in “Looking Past Suffering”, each one of my participants recovered. They had major struggles with their medical issues but in the end overcame them.
Everybody likes a happy ending. The villain is defeated and the hero or heroine is victorious. It was very difficult not only for Chris to watch Linda’s decline but for me and our entire family as well. We prayed, we did everything humanly possible to change the outcome but in the end Linda was taken from us.
Linda loved life, she loved her husband, loved her dog Jackie and the homestead in which she had grown up. She loved God and our church family. However, not every battle ends the same way but as a Christian every battle we fight, if we walk with God, ends ultimately in victory. Death is the doorway to eternal life where there is no more pain or suffering, no more depression, no darkness, no uncertainty of the future.. Each of us at one time or another loses a part of their life when a loved one departs this mortal realm. This kind of loss leaves a void that cannot be filled with entertainment or worldly things. Each of us learns through time to cope with that empty room and the absence of communication that provided sunlight to our dark days and lonely nights. The heartfelt condolences of friends, even though they touch our heart, cannot lessen the feelings of loss that we are experiencing.
How many times have I picked up the phone to call her and slowly put it down? I truly am happy for her because I know that for her the days of struggle have come to an end. I also realize that when she closed her eyes on this little planet called earth that she would open them in a place that goes beyond man’s limited capability to comprehend.
Of our family of six there are now only two left, my brother and I. I choose to focus on life and allow the memories of the past provide a level of consolation each day I live as I wait for that day of our heavenly reunion! St. Paul seemed to sum it up so well in this scripture:
“So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?” (1 Corinthians 15:55 KJV)
Just remember my friend, we have not yet finished the battles of life that we face on earth, but rest assured for those who have put on Christ, the victory is just ahead. As Paul writes in Romans 8, he puts it this way:
“For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” (Romans 8:18 KJV)
So to answer your question, Chris … she may not have appeared in this most recent book but she certainly lives each day in my memories and in my heart. She was a winner, a warrior, and a lover of life and even though I miss her, I remind myself that it is not “goodbye” but “I will see you later!”